Dear Donnarose

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Q: Dear Donnarose, well, it's the holiday gathering time again when I have to tolerate my family.  Just once I'd like to show up without a tense stomach.  Any tips would be appreciated, N.S.

A: “It's not how people will be when you show up.  It's how you 'show up' that determines how people will be." ~Donnarose Melvin   

  This is a common issue for many.  We have become so used to making what's happening around us determine how we're going to feel.  Like you, many have also become conditioned to feeling badly even before showing up to the gathering.  There's even some people that choose not to attend the gathering, but guess what?  They still have the tense stomach, and they're not even in the same room as the negative family members. This is what happens with repetitious occurrences.  We become conditioned.  Well, that's at least one of the reasons.

The good news, is you can have a positive impact on the outcome of your next family gathering.  But there does need to be a couple changes; ones that are related to what my quote says above.   It's just a matter of thinking and doing things a little differently.  Switch the habit of preparing yourself for how “they” are going to be when you show up.  Instead, spend the time on working on how you are going be when you show up.  More often than not you will see their behavior change, because you changed.  It's like that great quote from one of my favorites, Wayne Dyer, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” 

However, the first thing to look at, is yourself in the mirror, as people who are expecting a negative time, are usually showing up feeling negatively deep down within themselves.  What then tends to happen, is those inside the house will feel your energy immediately upon your arrival.  The common reaction to negative energy in whatever form is either it triggers negative emotions in others present, which tends to prompt negative treatment to match it.  Or it will cause those that can't relate to it, or don't want to be around it, to move in a direction away from the negative energy.  

  So all that being said, prior to the next gathering, consider working very hard doing anything to raise your feelings of self-worth, confidence, and courage, and to decrease judging, complaining, blaming, etc.  Actually, when you start raising your vibration, the above is easier to do, since peace, self-love, courage, harmony, etc., reside at a higher frequency.  To get things started, seek out some of the motivational folks out there, like the late great Wayne Dyer and Louise Hay, Deepak Chopra, and some also rave about Tony Robbins and others.  Also here's one of my old column links that gives some ideas on how to raise your vibration.  Forgiveness of self and others in all lifetimes, is mentioned on the list in this link.  Forgiveness is key. 

  To conclude, once you really start to raise your vibration, you'll be able to look at that person in the mirror from a Higher perspective, with grace and dignity.  What will start to happen, is how you see yourself, is how you'll start to see others.  And instead of “tolerating” your family, don't be surprised if you find yourself enjoying them.~♥

Dear Donnarose, I've read that we should “keep our eye on the prize” when we want something.  And that's exactly what I do.  However it's often to no avail, or it feels like it takes forever to happen.  Your thoughts? ~R.B.

A: “If you state your intention, then trust and release, no matter the outcome, you will feel at peace.” ~Donnarose Melvin   
  Having solid intentions of what you want is a good thing.  However there are many who on a daily basis dwell heavily on the thing they want, thinking this will make it happen faster.  But dwelling and having a tight hold on the outcome of what you want, especially the time-frame, actually delays it more.  Trying to force something to happen, and constantly dwelling on it, will keep you in that state of want.  So what the Universe does in response, is lovingly grants you the delay to match your state of want.  The Universe responds to our energy, not our thoughts. 

  For your next endeavor, consider surrendering the time-frame of the outcome to the Universe.  Surrender, not irresponsibly, but trustingly, and let go and let the Universe orchestrate the details behind the scenes in perfect Divine order.  By doing this, you'll find what you desire to manifest will be at the perfect time.  The benefits will be even greater, as you gave the Universe time to do what they needed to do.  Also, let's say the Universe had something better for you than what you thought you needed.  Like my quote above says, if you trust and release, no matter what the outcome is, you'll feel at peace. 

  Additionally, if you ever need help with having more patience while you're in “receiving mode”(instead of waiting mode), ask the Universe for assistance.  As another quote of mine says, “Patience is on our soul's watch. It doesn't rush, trusts in Divine timing, and is most often with favorable results.  Whereas impatience is on the ego's watch.  It doesn't believe in Divine timing, rushes the process, and most often is with unfavorable results.”  So be sure to stay on your “soul's watch” and enjoy reaping the rewards.~♥

Donnarose Melvin is a Professional Ancestral Energy Clearing Intuitive. Her knowledge from her advanced practitioner trainings in Ancestral Energy Clearing, and her BA degree in Psychology, along with her natural born intuitive gifts, have helped many achieve increased peace and happiness. Please send your questions to: She will select questions each month to share with you. Donnarose regrets that unpublished questions cannot be answered individually. ~If you’d like a powerful distant Ancestral Energy Clearing, please contact Donnarose at the email address above. 

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