Greetings from the Gulf: May

Author: Share:

Go ahead, point at my belly

By John Morton

This column almost didn’t make it in time. And I blame that new, free answering service with which I was once, for 10 seconds, so impressed.

On April 20, at 4:30 a.m., it sent me halfway to the moon with its high-pitched wail and evil, eye-popping red-triangle-with-exclamation-point-in-the-middle imagery.
Now that’s how you get a fella out of bed. Finally, I thought, my taxpayer dollars were at work.
I even kicked the rooster to the curb.
Yet ever since that morning, not a cell-phone chirp came my way.
Oh, what I’d do for a little cock-a-doodle-do again. Please come home my fine-feathered friend. I’m fine with that lazy 5 a.m. thing you had going on. A half hour won’t kill me.
Good news is, by me surviving another deadline, we have the chance to check-back in with a man who’s a true pacesetter. When you ask Larry the Siesta Photo Bomber of what he’s most proud these days he’ll tell you about his longer runs, faster runs, all while gallantly dishing out the mid-stride interruptions so many of us now cherish.
More importantly, I noticed he’s also a trendsetter. There he was the other night, smiling and chatting with me, donning a custom bomber T-shirt with a QR code emblazed on his belly.

Folks, you can’t tell me that this won’t become the norm in short order when it comes to the shirt order. The chance to entice people to point their phone at your midriff and enter your world of mid-life crises is a slam dunk., per today’s social nonsense. Remember when you’ve suffered through friends’ Facebook posts of what they were about to eat? Well, chew on this!
In Larry’s case, his QR code sends fans to his Instagram page. That’s where you’ll see he now has surpassed 2,000 followers thanks to his 1,700-plus beach bombs.
“All in 11 months,” the bomber declared, part bragging I suppose and part acknowledging a world gone mad. His warm-yet-maniacal demeanor always keeps you guessing.
Only Larry Frankel can go from irritating to irresistible like this.
I mean, check out the picture below of him bouncing with the beach babes. You don’t strike like that without a big bomb in your arsenal.

A little about the QR-code shirts — you can change the destination website as often as you’d like. Save the spotted owl one day, offer up cooking instructions for it the next.
When I asked Larry what he’d like as a secondary platform, he picked Toys for Tots. That’s what the Marines support and he, needless to say, is one of them.
What would I select for my online overtures? Yes, boss of mine, would be first in the rotation. Yet I believe everyone on planet earth has it marked as a favorite. So, on to the next.
That brings me quickly to That’s a battle cry for Packers fans and directing folks to such a website certainly brings out the smarty-pants cheesehead in me, once again shredding what I’ll call the Munsters (ha!) of the Midway. It’s even better because that boss to whom I referenced is from the Windy City.
But get this — that domain name is actually available! What? That’s unbearable. Come on, Packers fans. No one has received that as a Christmas gift?
So, that said, my real choice would be Now there’s a cause. Let it flow!
You can read about that topic on page 11 of this issue, by the way.


Nancy Detert didn’t really represent Siesta Key directly from her District 3 Sarasota Board of County Commissioners seat, but at times it sure felt like she did.
On many votes that impacted the Key, she clearly had its best interests in mind.
Now, I wouldn’t wish the attendance or, even the viewing, of a government meeting upon anyone. But for those who do participate like yours truly, I bet you’ll agree Detert was someone upon whose every word you hung.

Innovative. Informative. Imaginative. Impassioned. Inspiring. Impressive.
When she passed April 5, we lost a lady who dotted a lot of I’s.
And don’t get me started with the T’s — as in terrific. She didn’t miss a thing.
Said Siesta Key’s Mark Smith, who had the privilege of sitting next to her at the dais as a co-commissioner for too short a period of time:
“Nancy was as tough as nails with a soft heart. She was brutally honest. You always knew what her position was on any subject, no filters. She was great! Nancy will be greatly missed.”
And I hate to get political at a time of mourning — but just as the arrival of Smith and District 4 commissioner Joe Neunder were likely pluses for all things Siesta Key, one can’t help but get nervous about the idea of a replacement appointee for Detert coming in, courtesy of the governor.
Pay close attention please. That seat represents quite the swing vote.

(John Morton is managing editor of Siesta Sand.)

John Morton
Author: John Morton

Previous Article

Sea turtle, snowy plover nesting seasons underway

Next Article

It’s all in the family